Day 44: Happy

Happy Saturday and Day 44 of Another 100 Days of Hannah, y'all!
 
First things first: I totally meant to blog bright and early this morning like normal.
Obviously that failed, considering it's almost 9p.
 
Oops.
 
And, as I'm pretty tired presently, I probably won't opt for a super thought provoking post this evening.
 
So... what to talk about instead?
 
Great question. Glad you asked.
 
Do you ever just have days where you're off?
Where you're just sort of down, but you don't really know why, and you can't put a finger on the exact feeling that you're experiencing?
 
That's sort of how my day was today.
It wasn't a bad day.
In the grand scheme of things, it could probably have even been considered a good day.
But I was just... off.
 
Admittedly, initially, this frustrated me.
I mean, I'm supposed to be the happy-go-lucky kid that brings energy to every room I enter, right?
 
But then I remembered one of the first things I was taught in therapy.
 
Happy is not our natural state of being.
 
I'll say it again for the people in the back.
 
Happy is not our natural state of being.
 
Y'all, happiness is a feeling.  And like all feelings, it comes and goes.
It's not something we can force.
It's not something concrete we can hold onto.
It's not something we can even reliably create.

Which, you'll probably find either very comforting or very concerning.
For me though, this realization lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
 
It meant that I could forgive myself for not feeling happy every moment of every day.
It meant that I could stop chasing happiness, and begin to search for true peace.
It meant that I could just... be.
 
If I wasn't so tired this evening, I would probably try to search for a better conclusion, but alas, I am tired.  So, with that, I'll catch y'all tomorrow.
 
'Til then,
 
Hannah
 
PS: Apparently I was so tired that I forgot to actually push the publish button last night... oops!! Let's try this again...



Want to read more?  Here's a link to my Day 44 post from 100 Days of Hannah.  Click the link to check it out!
 
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