Day 109: Spinning
Happy Monday and Day 109 of Another 100 Days of Hannah... and Counting, y'all!
Guys, I'm struggling today.
It's been a dizzy week for the last week. The spinning normally starts soon after I get up, and then continues through most of the day.
Which is incredibly frustrating.
Especially because it makes visually processing (my strongest suit) very difficult... which then makes every other aspect of life harder.
This morning was particularly bad.
Lying in bed this morning, I was fine, but within about 10 minutes of getting up, everything fell apart.
And so, when I sat down to go through my patient list, I literally could not process it.
For reference - generally, I can glance at something, group similar concepts together, and have an idea what's going on.
I looked at the list.
I could see words... but glancing and processing?
And so I read it.
And somehow still didn't feel like I actually knew what was going on.
Thankfully, by now, I'm doing a little bit better (should out to my friend who suggested the Epley maneuver for a potential quick fix). It's still not perfect, but I'm processing well enough to, you know, write a blog post.
Honestly, on days like these, I wonder quite often just how I'm going to go on.
Like, how can I be a proficient doctor when I can't make sense of the patient list?
How can I be a pianist/organist/piano teacher, when certain frequencies of sound seem to exacerbate my visual dysfunction?
Admittedly, I don't have any good answers.
But, in Phillipians 4:6, we are reminded to:
Not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And so, I guess that's what I get to do today - turn back to God, rather than into my frustration and anxiety, knowing that when I do, the peace that passes all understanding will guard [my] heart and mind through Christ Jesus.
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